How to survive Christmas.

A warm and fuzzy guide to surviving the Christmas period after loss. All of my ridiculous tips and advice are to be taken with a giant pinch of salt- to the eyes.

 

  1. Gin

And a lot of it, just joking, mulled wine is a safer bet. This way you just look like you are getting in on the festive spirit and nobody can say anything but! Plus, mulled wine gives you that tingly, fuzzy feeling inside that warms your whole body. Nobody ever got violent on too much mulled wine. Fact. What could go wrong?

 

  1. Mince pies.

That’s right, if over-eating doesn’t make you forget the pain of Christmas then nothing will! If you don’t have crumbs all over your hideous Christmas jumper then you aren’t doing it right. Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without a hefty dental bill and swearing at your scales.

 

  1. A healthy dose of denial.

So what you are going to want to do is take all your emotional baggage and put it into a little metaphorical box in your head. Once you’ve done this, go right ahead and pretend it doesn’t exist. This is what healthy people do, right?

 

  1. Outbursts of anger.

I mean, why go to hours of counselling when you can just randomly take all your pent-up issues out on those you love most?
 5. Honesty. 

Make sure to tell your family and friends repeatedly how shit the holiday season is. Don’t stop there though. Tell them how much you hate the Christmas tree, the music, the decorations, your hideous jumper, the food, your aunt Sally and her dog Scotty. Christmas is the time for honesty and what is more honest than sharing your blatant hatred for the holiday?

 

One last thing, remember, if you are suffering then everyone else should be too! So spread that misery!

 

 

-Christina.

One comment

  1. Angela Adams · December 18

    Christina as i read this i am actually drinking gin “anor Saturday and i aint got nobody” story of my life. I can’t eat mince pies dreaded cf diabetes. I hate Christmas always have. And the scales keep telling me im 6 stone and won’t go up no matter what!!! Could it get any more miserable and lonely than this i think not!! Oh yeah it could lung functions shite.

    If it wasn’t for my dad and doggies!!! X

    Like

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